When you’re studying the Law of Attraction, you are taught to believe that you can have absolutely anything in life. For those of us with kids, we want to teach them that they can do and have in life...but without them becoming little assholes who think the world owes them something.
So how do you communicate to kids that they inherently deserve everything without a lot of struggle, without them from becoming spoiled?
Let’s start by defining what spoiled really means. Personally, I believe that spoiled is when you expect things but you’re not grateful when you receive them, and you’re not willing to take any inspired action to receive them.
Let’s say you buy a 16-year-old kid a car for their birthday. Many people would call that spoiling your kid. A few years ago, I would have agreed.
I don’t believe that’s spoiled inherently if they take care of that car, appreciate it, and recognize that someone went out of their way to give it to them.
It becomes spoiled when they couldn’t care less about how much someone spent on it, they treat the car like shit, and they make dangerous decisions. It’s when they show a lack of respect for what it took to receive that car.
Spoiled really comes down to your attitude.
If you’ve been thinking that just because you receive a lot, you’re spoiled, you’re off-base. It’s actually a major block to receiving to judge people who receive a lot (after all, if you judge people who receive a lot, you likely fear that same judgment from others).
It’s all about the attitude in which you receive it.
Now, I’m not going to pretend to be a parenting expert (I’m only 5 years into it--we’ll see how they turn out as adults 😉 ), but I’ve done a lot of thinking when it comes to how we can raise our kids to own their power without veering into asshole territory.
You simply can’t spoil your children with how much you are there for them. There’s a difference between giving your child something because you truly want to and you know your child will like it, and giving them presents to make up for not being around that much. There’s a different kind of energy there and they can feel that. Remember that your presence is #1. That has to come first and no amount of gifts can replace that. But there’s nothing wrong with giving them presents.
Be aware of your energy when you’re giving them gifts. Does it come from a loving place or a place of guilt?
And by the way--I’m not suggesting that you have to be there 24/7. Hell, my kids go to daycare and sometimes go to sleepovers on the weekends, so we spend plenty of time apart. All I’m saying is, make your time together count (even a few minutes of it at a time) and they’ll remember it forever.
Abundant kid tip #1: Presents don’t replace Presence. Read the rest at http://bit.ly/2pWkb6F
2. They Can Have the Feeling Of What They Want (without actually having the thing)
You absolutely don’t have to deprive your child of anything but the thing is, if we’re chasing after material things constantly, the real thing we want is a feeling. Security, Happiness, Love. And actually, that’s the best news ever, because feelings are free. By teaching our kids we can have whatever feeling we want - gratitude, abundance, etc., they can go with or without stuff and be happy in either situation.
Outer abundance is just a reflection of our inner abundance. Teaching them how to be proactive with their thoughts and emotions is going to get them so much further in life than just chasing material things. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. I like things. We want a roof over our heads and it might as well be a nice roof. But teach them they can always have that lovin’ feeling whenever they want and you’re setting them up for a lifetime of abundance in all its forms.
Abundant kid tip #2: Teach them to be proactive instead of reactive with their thoughts and emotions. Read the rest: http://bit.ly/2pWkb6F
You can teach your kids gratitude starting at a pretty young age. For example, when I put my 4-year-old son to bed I ask him his favorite part of the day. Usually, he mentions me, his father, and his sister (and it basically turns my heart to melted butter). It teaches them to look back and reflect on their day and remember the good parts.
Of course, if they need to talk about something difficult that happened that day, give them the space for that. Sometimes you have to work through those things, and that’s okay. But it really trains them to get in the habit of “defaulting” to positive experiences when you reinforce them every day.
Abundant kid tip #3: Teach them to focus on the good so that their default thought pattern is positive. Read the rest: http://bit.ly/2pWkb6F
4. Teaching Them That the Best Rewards Come Through Serving Others
There are a lot of ways to earn a million dollars. You can do it by having a business that helps thousands of people lead a better life or you could rob a bank. One way you’re adding value to the world and in the second one, you’re taking it away. There’s a different energy to it.
You can teach your kids that being of service and add value is when the best rewards come in. There’s nothing wrong with a trust fund, but there’s nothing more satisfying than receiving money as a result of your impact in the world. Once you see someone's life change because of something that you did, you can’t come back from that. You absolutely want to keep contributing.
Kids are the same way. Once they get a taste of what it looks like to change someone’s life, even donating toys, that’s going to plant something in them that will never go away. And it’s honestly, such an incredible thing that you can do as a parent.
(bonus: you have the perfect excuse to clean out the toybox so you can close it again!)
Starting last year, every once in awhile when the toys start building up again (how it happens so quickly, I’ll never understand), I told my son that we were giving away some toys to people who were less fortunate. Surprisingly, he was completely on board and gave away almost half of his toys. Often, we assume kids will throw a tantrum and be upset about it, but I think we should give our kids some credit. Explain it to them--they just might surprise you.
Again, just because your kids receive a lot of “stuff, it doesn’t mean they’re spoiled. It all comes down to your attitude about it and that’s something you really can teach your kids.
One last thing: Don’t put all the pressure on yourself to do this parenting thing perfectly. We all try our best, and that’s all we can do. Give yourself a big ol’ high five just for that 😉