The goal is not to be totally high-vibe every moment of every day. All you need to do is be there as often as possible, recognize when you’re not there, and get back there as soon as you can.
We’ve been told repeatedly that life isn’t supposed to feel good. That high-vibe happiness all the time isn’t practical or “realistic” (don’t get me started on how much I hate THAT word!). People are so used to feeling bad that it just seems normal--and therefore not a cause for change. Or even notice.
If all of those signs of misalignment that I spouted off a minute ago found you nodding your head repeatedly, here’s the good news: we’re going to get into how you actually GET into alignment--and stay there as much as you can.
Here’s the thing: when you are not used to paying attention to how you feel, starting this practice is essentially a new habit. And with any habit you need a little bit of help ingraining it, especially in the beginning.
So your primary focus has to feeling good as much as possible, which means focusing on the good feelings. Maybe affirmations do it for you. Possibly some simple “feel good” reminders (“you are beautiful”, “I love you”, “keep going”, etc.) Whatever feels good to you, do that.
The next step is to start reminding yourself to keep feeling good! Like setting feel-good reminders on your phone. Maybe making your affirmations your screensaver. Putting sticky love notes on your computer. Get your feel-good messages in front of you as much as you can.
Even if you find yourself resisting it. Even if you’re thinking “I don’t have time for that!” Just do it. Get those reminders in front of you as often as possible so that this feeling amazing thing starts to become second nature.
Phone reminders, post-it notes, whatever. Anything that will remind you to check in with yourself more often and take note of how you’re feeling. Set yourself up for success with this.
I get a lot of resistance with this one. When I say things like “pursue joy” or “do what you love”, a some of the arguments I get are things like, “well, that’s all fine, but I work at a job that I hate, I’m broke, I’m in an unhappy relationship, and blah, blah, blah…”
Ok, I get that. Obviously not ideal situations there. But here’s the thing--a lot of us are afraid that when you show gratitude for where you are now that it’s just gonna keep you stuck where you are now.
It might sound counterintuitive, but when it comes to expressing gratitude, it’s not really about the specific thing that you’re feeling grateful for.
And gratitude is basically the highest frequency that exists (it’s right up there with love and appreciation).
It doesn’t matter that you’re showing appreciation for a penny or for a million dollars. It’s that you’re showing gratitude--and vibrating at that frequency.
That’s what we’re talking about here--the key is to get on that gratitude frequency about anything you possibly can.
How do you get there when you’re not there, though?
If you’re working a shitty job, well, maybe you like your co-workers. Maybe some of the customers are cool. Maybe you like the wallpaper--anything at all!
But find something that you really like--something that can at least bring little glimmers of happiness to your day.
And again, remember this: the Universe isn’t going to bring you more of those tiny scraps that you’re choosing to be grateful for.
So get on that frequency as often as you can, wherever you are.
That might mean instead of coming home and numbing out on Netflix, going for a run instead. Maybe going swimming. Maybe it’s drawing, painting, dancing, or playing music. Cuddling with your kids or your pets. Whatever that thing is that makes you really happy--go do it.
Because making an active effort to do your personal happy-place things makes a huge difference in your vibrational alignment. When you’re focusing on the things you love, guess what you’re doing? Yep, you got it-
AND speaking of GUS…
Sometimes I look at my screaming kid and I feel that frustration and that anger coming up. It’s like, “OMG, I just fed you five minutes ago--why are you screaming now?” (and other expressions of parental frustration!)
But then I ask myself--how is GUS seeing this situation? (Or maybe, “what would GUS do?”)
It’s like when I remember to see things through GUS in a moment like that, everything changes. I see how my kid might be feeling in the moment. He might be coming from a place where his soul being is so much bigger than he is and it’s swirling around him in a way he can’t quite understand yet--and it’s causing him to be vibrationally out of whack.
It can be true of anyone--if someone is lashing out or harming others, there’s a pretty good chance that they’re way out of alignment themselves. And they’re just grasping for a tiny way to feel a tiny bit better however they can.
When you see that kind of moment through GUS’s eyes, it really helps you get to a place of compassion. Sometimes you can even go higher on the emotional scale up to love and appreciation, too.
Even if your world doesn’t magically transform overnight, even if the manifestations don’t show up right away--you will feel better. You’re not gonna feel so stressed. That joy will come back to you.
And you’re probably gonna look around at the life that you’re in and you’re gonna be like, “geez, I’m actually in a really good place after all.”
I want to give you a little heads-up about what might happen when you decide to go all-in with this thing.
Sometimes you get off to a rocky start that might make you doubt. You might start to wonder if you’re doing it right. Or even wonder if it was a good idea to take this whole thing on in the first place.
Believe me, though--sometimes these things happen to the best of us--and honestly, you can even take them as sign that you’re doing something right.
know, you’re doing this to feel better, not worse, right?? But here’s what happens in the beginning: you’re becoming more sensitive to your feelings. When you’ve been tuned out to them for so long and then all of a sudden take notice of them, you might not like what you find.
You might find yourself thinking that everything feels like shit, you feel crappy all the time, this isn’t what I signed up for, what the hell is going on?
Here’s what’s going on: when you start giving your feelings their due attention, you’re essentially trying to turn what might’ve been years worth of built up negative momentum into positive momentum. And you might discover how awful you’d been feeling for so long but you didn’t even notice it. Maybe you even had a tolerance built up to it.
But when you start really tuning in to how you feel, you might find that you totally get it now--and all at once!
But trust me--this is a GOOD thing. It means that you’re raising your sensitivity to everything, including the crap. And when you’re sensitive to it, you become aware of it.
And then you can actually DO something about it. You can DO something to start feeling good again. Something to reset your standard to a place of love and gratitude instead of a place of anxiety, fear, and crappiness.
Say you have a flash of someone you haven’t thought of in years, and then just like that they show up in your Facebook feed. You might be tempted to write it off and say “oh, that’s just a coincidence”. Maybe you’ve been waiting for years for an opportunity, and then, boom, there it is! You might think, “oh, no, I didn’t do that. I didn’t create that, it’s just a fluke.”
But you did--you DID create that! Recognize it as the sign that it is--and let yourself be thrilled beyond reason about it. Signs like this are miracles--they mean that you’re coming into alignment. Take joy in that!
Because like I’ve said before--and I’ll say it a million more times--what you focus on expands. Those beautiful synchronicities? Focus on them. Show them gratitude and love. And allow yourself to feel that.
Some people hit the alignment stride faster than others. Either way, it’s not a race. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. You’ve heard that a million times--but it’s true. And it applies to this as well.
Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes more time than you thought it would. You might make shifts quickly and easily, you might hit some rough road and have some struggles--but neither way is wrong.
So whether it takes days or months, weeks, years, whatever--don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s your journey, nobody else’s. Nobody knows the details of your journey just like you don’t know the details of theirs either, and this is yet another place where comparison does NOT help.
And in the end, the whole point of alignment is honoring yourself, your journey, and getting yourself to the place where you and your GUS are totally in synch. Even if it takes longer than you thought it would. So give yourself a break here. After all, you’re worth whatever and however long it takes to get there.
This is one of my favourite topics--I could talk about this for days--and I’d love to know what this discussion has meant to you. What “aha” moments came up for you? Anything that especially shook loose and “clicked” for you today? Tell me about it in the comments below!
Did you miss part I of this post? Go back and read it here.