“I Suck At This”: Why You’re Struggling to Change Your Bad Habits

By Shelsey Jarvis

Ever notice that when you commit to making changes, something always seems to get in the way?

Like a big box of donuts at the office the day you start a new diet.
“I Suck At This” - Why You’re Struggling to Change Your Bad Habits  |  Left-Brained Hippie

Or your engine blows as soon as you save up a little cushion in the bank.

Or maybe it’s clients that don’t respect your time and energy.

All of these things are patterns. They’re the type of thing that makes you say “I suck at this. Why is this so hard for me?”

When it comes to changing your habits in ANY area of your life, you can find a million different tips and tricks to integrate those changes. They generally tell you that it’s just a question of making it a priority, and once you do that, everything will work out.

Well, they’re not wrong, but they’re missing the most important step. After all, if it was as simple as “make it a priority”, then you WOULD. But as you’ve likely noticed, it’s not always that simple.

It seems that the world is determined to keep you stuck in old patterns, doesn’t it?

Wrong. It’s actually not the world at large, it’s much closer to home than that—it’s your own brain.

All of the things I mentioned above are manifestations of beliefs you’ve got hard-wired into your brain. Beliefs like:

“I have no willpower when it comes to weight loss”

“It’s impossible to get ahead, something always goes wrong”

“Working with people is awful, they’re so disrespectful”

Those things are going to feel like rock-solid truth, because you’ve got a lot of experience to back them up. And so far, all your efforts to change those patterns have failed, so they MUST be true, right?

Actually, you’ve just been focusing your effort in the wrong place.

Specks on the projector

Imagine for a minute that you’ve got a projector set up and you’re watching a movie on a white screen. You notice a black speck on the screen, so you grab a cloth and try to wipe it off. But no matter how much you rub and scrub, nothing happens.

Until you realize the speck is actually on the projector. So, you wipe the speck away, and of course now it’s gone on the screen as well. Easy peasy.

The world you see around you is just a “projection” of your unique set of beliefs. That’s why everyone experiences the world a little (or a lot) differently—no two set of belief systems are exactly alike.

Your brain (and the beliefs housed in there) are the belief systems, or the “projector”.

So therefore, if there’s a “speck” (a negative belief) in your “projector”, then it will appear in the “projection” until you remove it at the source.

The problem is, most of us are trying to fix problems by wiping the screen, and then when the problem fails to resolve itself, we use that “proof” to reinforce our beliefs.

“See? It’s impossible to remove the speck. There’s nothing anyone can do, that’s just how it is”.

Your life experiences are basically projections of the beliefs in your brain. Change the belief, change the projection. Read more:

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How this shows up in real life

Okay, so far this projector metaphor might be making some sense, but let’s take an example of how this might shake out in real life.

Let’s say that the “speck” is a belief that you have to work really hard to make a good living.

If you try to fix this problem externally by doing things like setting up passive income streams, cutting down work hours, or taking more vacations, you’ll notice that the problem keeps reoccurring, and you seem to only make money when you’re working really hard for it.

So it will reinforce your belief that making money is hard work. It’ll feel TRUE, because you’ll have lots of proof to back it up.

But if you were to look at the SOURCE of the speck—on the projector itself— you would be able to shift that belief internally to “I get paid for my impact on the world, not the hard work put in”.

And when that paradigm shift happens, the projection (your reality) will begin to change as a reflection of that.

How does your reality change when your beliefs change?

The short version is, your brain will ALWAYS look for proof that you’re right, and discard any proof to the contrary as “irrelevant”. And if it doesn’t find the proof it’s looking for, it’ll create it by distorting the facts, deleting information, and generalizing.

Your brain will ALWAYS look for proof that you’re right. And if it doesn’t find the proof it’s looking for, it’ll create it by distorting, deleting, and generalizing. Read more:

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Your subconscious mind automates a lot of your decisions to avoid decision fatigue. And the driver behind those decisions is your set of beliefs.

So if your belief (or reality!) is “making money is hard”, then your brain basically won’t let you be as efficient as you could be. Sure, you can google time management hacks all you want, but until you re-write that belief in your brain, it won’t do any good (admit it--you’ve put “workout” or “meditation” on your calendar with good intentions, and still totally ignored it, haven’t you?).

When you shift the belief to something like “I can make money no matter how little time I work”, suddenly your brain puts efficiency on autopilot. Where you used to spend hours on useless activities (making you wonder where the day went!), it becomes easy to be laser-focused and get twice as much work done in WAY less time.

You’ll also find that the fears that are getting the best of you now will no longer be in the drivers seat of your behaviour—meaning you’ll spend more time reaching out to potential clients rather than talking yourself out of it.

Which means more $$$.

How to shift these beliefs

There’s no one-paragraph answer I can give you, because mindset work is layered and complex. The overly-simplified answer is to discredit the proof of your current beliefs, and build up proof of the new beliefs that will serve you, until you thoroughly believe it.

There are lots of angles and ways to do this, and the approach is completely individual.

But, to help you get started, I’ve prepared a special audio training for you, “How to Get Out of Hustle Mode”.

In this training, I help you figure out why you’re stuck so that you can shift gears, and finally have one of those “lifestyle businesses” people are always talking about 😉

Sign up here to get access to the free audio and workbook!


About the Author

Hey, I’m Shelsey, and I help female online entrepreneurs clear the mindset gremlins that are sabotaging you from the inner corners of your brain. Join me in the Left-Brained Hippies Facebook community!